Finally Spring is here! Not that we had a bad winter, but its nice seeing the trees start to bud, flowers starting to come out of the ground and birds singing their song! Its probably one of my favorite times of the year! I always see Spring as the time people come out of hibernation, and they are looking for a summer fling or maybe even something more serious. Whatever it is, I’m confident you’ll find it.
The common thing I’ve seen on Social Media recently is the juicy topic of dating! The complaint has been, that its difficult to meet someone, and I literally mean meet them. Day of cancellations or flakey people skipping out on dates, so what gives? What causes a person to bail after already agreeing and dedicating some time to text or converse with someone for a (couple) weeks or so to only bail on them last minute?
I’ve come up with a couple ideas for this reason, they aren’t 100% factual but lets say based on assumption combined with secrets those closest have shared with me. So here goes!
1:They like the idea of you, but aren’t actually into you . More of an attention thing, you’re probably filling some void for them, that constant need or want to engage with someone via text, I’m sure this is some social anxiety thing. Texting rates are much cheaper than anxiety meds, so you’re as good as it gets! 😉
2: They are so much cooler online. You know that song, right? Well, lets just say “So Much cooler in a virtual world.” These days with Social Media, dating sites and texting to start relationships, being so popular its pretty easy to showcase a life you want others to think you live. They could fear that they(or you) won’t come across as cool in person as whats going on via text. So when emotions are involved you best bet that they’re nervous. They may think that you think they’re fat, ugly, unintelligent, etc. that list goes on and on my friends, we all have that pressure, the want to be liked/loved by peers and that feeling is only heightened when it comes down to meeting someone who we might actually like!
3. Its not you its them. Seriously, If a person is that big of a loser to bail on your day of, or no show Why would you ever blame yourself for that? Hell Naw. You showed up, lookin’ fine as hell, this isn’t about you. Its them! Something inside their little head made their decision not to go out with you and thats cool! Let them rule themselves out so you don’t have to later. I’m assuming you put some effort into looking sharp for your date, so if they no show on you at the restaurant or coffee shop, treat your self to your own dinner date or coffee. I suggest heading to the bar, where you can chat with other singles, or the bartender depending on how hard you wanna hit those whiskey sours. Maybe chat up the barista! Table for 1 doesn’t leave much opportunity for chit chat! Head to a spot that brings other solo people to the party.
4. Maybe its you. I mean this with all the kindness in the world. What I’m trying to say is perhaps you habitually go after the wrong people. When you go into an online dating situation with a piss poor attitude about it and complain that everyone on there is a flake, bitch, player, etc. Guess what you’re gonna get? The energy we put into things is what we get directly in return. So you need to dust off your pants, wipe away the tears from your last experience and give someone else a brand new slate. I’m serious, but the bad experiences behind you and focus on meeting someone so bitchin’ awesome that you’re already planning dates 5 and 6 before you’ve even gone on a second date. Its out there, trust me!
PS. If you’re using online dating apps and sites, try being charismatic. There’s nothing worse than talking to someone who seems disengaged, uninterested and someone who fires off one word answers. This is a no go zone! Don’t do it! Also be sure to say something interesting in your bio. If it lacks any creativity, fun, or interesting topics you’ll be swiped left on so fast! As for photos, try to avoid the group, “hangin’ with the homies” picture, because you could be Brad Pitt hanging with a bunch of Wilvin Harris’ and I am not about to take that chance. Be you! Authentically you. If someone doesn’t like who you are online, you sure as hell don’t owe it to anyone to explain why you are who you are. Keep your chin up, smiles wide and enjoy the crazy course ahead! Happy Dating!
Are there any reasons you can think of that would cause someone to bail? Let me know!