Dating is HARD!

As you’ve read from some of my previous posts about dating I don’t date, well I do, but I don’t do it very well. That said over the course of Stampede I met a few men who I had the entertainment of chatting with and spending a bit of time laughing about how to date these days. I say “these days” like I had a better clue on how to date 10 years ago – which I didn’t. One day I woke up thinking, my sports career was over, my business has taken off, now it seems like a good time to add that special someone to my life. WAY EASIER SAID THAN DONE!

I’ll give you a bit more insight, I’m picky, and not picky in the sense of how you look, although some sexual attraction is required if we’re taking pictures together. Just kidding. Kind of – you have to be someone pretty damn special to be in my selfie, I have this shit down pat and its been a solo mission for a while. I’m “picky” (or have standards) in the sense that I want someone who has their shit together, has a job, has a career, goals and are on path to achieving them. I don’t do well with people who explain they’ve been through jobs yearly, still live with mom and dad or would rather smoke a bowl and get bombed every weekend than go out for a nice dinner or a hike. My current requirements are: 1) Breathing 2) Likes me 3) is committed to being in a relationship 4) Driven and stable 5) Fun, loving and down for travelling. I know these men exist, they are out there, I had the pleasure of meeting one or two and dating them for a while. Circumstances sometimes just aren’t in your favour and they end and thats cool.

While out on the town the last 10 days of Stampede I met several guys. A few older men – 40 and up, who were a mix of single and married, they are probably nice, but when you’re pushing 15-20 years my senior this isn’t going anywhere past a conversation. I’m bold sometimes so I asked them what they look for in a partner or what they found. One replied that he wants a girl with a mind for him to fall in love with first, then to be compatible and then to be inseparable, once that’s happened the sex flood gates will open and it’ll be an added bonus. I liked the answer. We both agreed that people are building a love/life pyramid upside down. Sex being the foundation, the trust, love and everything else being the peak. Good analogy as far as I’m concerned. +1 to the old dude.

Met some younger guys. This made me laugh out loud and want to cry at the same time. I went to the bar to grab a drink and this guy was standing there so I asked if he was enjoying himself and was this his First Stampede while we waited. The look on his face of pure elation and excitement was overwhelming for such a simple question. He said I was the first girl that had talked to him and avoided my questions all together. “Alright… Explain why thats so exciting for you?” I said. His response, and I swear to god its not made up… “You have no idea how hard it is to go up to and talk to a girl, they can be such bitches, you’re the first nice one I’ve met!” Uhm, talking to people is hard now? Well how in the hell did we get started talking? Babies learning to talk is hard, adults talking is not hard… Maybe its hard because they already have an end goal in mind, which can make the come across creepy or overbearing. Why not play it cool and get to know the gal first? I walked away, annoyed, after telling him small chat is often times more attractive to a girl than some lame pick up line/ ice breaker – would be for me. The other guy has no problem talking to girls, he was very smooth, which was also a turn off because I wondered how many times that’d worked for him with some other unsuspecting women. I left that guy alone after sharing a laugh or two and realizing his main objective wasn’t to get to know me, but to get to know ‘me.’

Guys my own age think its hard to talk to women and the old guys want girls with a head on their shoulders. Surely there has to be common ground somewhere? Surely there has to be some younger guys with old school tendencies where getting to know a girls head before her vagina is valued and sought after. I’ll keep looking and update you on my findings as they come.

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About CassieNeil

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