Recently it has become apparent that friends or acquaintances of mine ask me to do coffee, go for drinks, attend a movie or whatever social get together is thought of, but at the last-minute bail. Obviously I understand that things come up that force a date or get together to be rescheduled due to circumstance, but how many ‘allowances’ does one give?
I have one friend who is great at suggesting and planning, but horrendous at keeping track of their schedule and ends up double booking themselves then asks if we can reschedule. This isn’t a poor me entry, but I do often wonder why I’m the one they call first, not the other person. So being the forgiving and laid back one (often too laid back) I just agree and don’t think much of it (Probably why they call me first). Nonetheless its the same routine every time we arrange to get together, call, set up a date/time/place, and hang up. Date of Activity its “Hey, I’m SO busy I’ve got to reschedule!” Truth be told with this person I’ve stopped writing it down, after the 4th rescheduled date I quit caring, or allocating time for a flake, if I’m not worth your time, you aren’t going to be worth mine.
I’m one of those old-fashioned people who still uses a day timer to keep track of my days. So when I block off a time for someone, I don’t double book. I also have other people request a coffee or whatever and usually they get the “I’m busy” it’s usually because I am, there is the rare occasion that I’m just trying to avoid them and let them down nicely rather than man up and tell them I’d rather gut a fish than spend an hour over coffee with them. We’re all guilty of telling a white lie, don’t try to guilt me now or give me your look of disgust.
Not-so-recently I decided to start scheduling things, not leave it up to other people to ask me to do something and I’m noticing the same trend, so really it doesn’t matter who schedules, they still remain the flake. So this is my official announcement that I’m done engaging and trying to keep relationships with those who are “too busy” for me. I’m not going to be a door mat for them anymore and truth be told if what we have falls apart, I won’t lose sleep over it, I know what I did to keep things going, so evaluate what we have closely. I’m okay with parting ways, trust me. I’m not going to accommodate schedules anymore. I’m not going to initiate the phone call or text to hang out, I’m done with all of that. This past week through personal and business I’ve had a ton of Cancellations, and that’s fine, I’m a big girl I’ll get over it. My attempts to make an effort stop here though.
For those reading this… how much effort do you put into something before you eventually call it quits? Whether its committing to a goal or maintaining a relationship of sorts. Curious to know.