Attitude Adjustment by a Park Employee.

The other day my family and I were discussing stories of the past, family vacations, trips, stupid things my brother and I did when we were younger. We’ve all got stories to tell, so I’ll share one of mine.

We had taken a trip to San Francisco to California and drove up to Las Vegas, where we’d gone for roughly two weeks, visiting various touristy places like Alcatraz, the Winchester House, Universal Studio’s, walked the Las Vegas Strip and Hollywood Boulevard and visited various famous hotels, took some time to drive by Ozzy Osborn’s house along with other famous celebrity homes, and even got a glimpse of where OJ Simpson lived during his trial in the murder he was deemed not guilty in. To most people OJ Simpson is no big deal, whatever, who cares where the dude lived? My only reason for wanting to see was because I remember that trial so vividly in my mind, I’d seen the guy on TV for weeks and weeks, that it’d be neat to see that particular home, where (in my opinion) his negative thoughts manifested.

Anyway! We Hit Universal Studio’s and if my memory serves me right we were meeting the tail end of our trip, and growing increasingly tired of one another, keeping cooped up in various hotel rooms, and an even smaller car, combined with heat and a packed amusement park, made for an unhappy Camper. We all decided that the last tour or walk through of Universal Studios would be in the Mummy Returns Pyramid walk though. My brother and dad skip ahead of my mum and I. Need I mention I was also at the age that I thought it was “cool” to be unfazed by everything, tough ass, couldn’t have slapped a smile on my face if you’d presented me with a million dollars. Just miserable. As I’m walking through this maze, I’m thinking “This is so stupid, and not scary” (although the movie scared me to no end. This could get scary quick and my wanna be hard ass will lose it if I see one of those guard guys). We round the corner and my fear has met us, there’s 4 of these guard things lined up on my right in a dimly lit room all standing on their pedestal things. I can see ahead that the “robot” just bends over and makes movement  towards people, but that’s the extent of his ability. I quickly prepare myself and think, “If that’s all it does I’ll be fine.”

For whatever reason we were no longer being heard like cattle, and there was a large gap between my mum and I and the group behind us between the group in front of us. I’m nearing closer and closer to this robot, when all of a sudden he jumps off the perch, begins to run at me (I think he probably only took two or three steps; but I didn’t stick around to find out) I flipped out, turn and went to run backwards through the walk through, screaming bloody murder, and elbowed the guy with his son behind me so hard in the stomach I swear he choked back vomiting up the concoction of popcorn, hotdogs, cotton candy and fountain pop. I went barreling around the corner screaming, only to stop, and see all these faces looking at me like I’m completely insane, or one of those idiots who hides in a dark corner and tries to spook people passing by. My mum? She was in fits of laughter, back where we’d been, and couldn’t contain herself. I’m pretty sure in my absence she even contemplated or did high five the dude for giving me a huge Attitude adjustment.

I had to catch up to her, and walk past the guy who was chuckling a “I so got you, you little 15-year-old, shit” laugh. I think at that point we were half way though, so ANY bump or any movement sent me into a tizzy freaking out far more than what was necessary. The end couldn’t come sooner.

My parents? They got reward for putting up with my antics and I got what I deserved. I’ve published this as a “I’ll tell it first,” because, without fail, my mum and dad will bring it up at any opportunity they can, especially when they meet a boyfriend.  “How Cassie got an attitude adjustment, by a park employee.”


About CassieNeil

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