The other night I met up with an old co-worker who I’d never actually spoken more than a few sentences of “whats up, hows work?” before entering and leaving the office of the place I called “work” for a short time in my life. Through Facebook we became friends, and although for the first little while things were very short between us, conversation was limited and I figured he’d fall into the category of “just another Facebook friend” and thought nothing of it. Overtime status’ between the pair of us lead to more engagement and a text/Facebook friendship developed. Not to say either of us weren’t interested in meeting up, but with the way both our lives were, me working constantly and the same for him our schedules never jived.
What I thought would be a quick meeting, grab a coffee, shoot the shit for a bit and go our separate ways turned into a few hours of chatter. Speaking only for myself I didn’t notice the time go by engaging in different topics and sharing what each of our passions were. I think what caught me off guard was the amount that we actually had in common. We talked of past relationships we’d had and shared our own opinions and experiences. After speaking with him and listening to myself speak did I finally realize that its okay to move on (from my ex). For far too long did I entertain the possibility of dating others in hopes to replace what I felt I’d lost, not offering or allowing a different experience to take place with an entirely different person. I know it wasn’t fair to expect someone to just fill the shoes of someone I once cared about but I did whatever I could to hang onto the memory of what I once had.
After the meeting it was a bit of a wakeup call for myself. I’d been dwelling on what I had and not focusing on what I could have. So I’m now changing my way of thinking and going to be more optimistic and not “pick” someone to date, I need to find someone who will mentally challenge me and provide stimulating conversation, I need to find someone who is as passionate about their business or career as I am with my own, someone who can and cares to celebrate the small victories that come with building a business. For too long was I the supportive Girlfriend wishing the best for everyone else being entirely selfless, now that’s not to say the next guy I date won’t get the same treatment, but the standard that I will be supported and appreciated has been added.
Why am I writing this? I think writing down what I want will help keep me in check, help me channel what I’m attracting and keep me focused. Getting over someone does take time, but i think i used that excuse for far too long, i’m onto better things now, and not going to entertain someone who acts interested for 5 minutes, they’ll need to show it.
Whats to come next for me? I don’t know, but I will have a new, optimistic outlook on it, and of course there will be a blog post or two about it 😉