Alright, so I’m not going to get into the details of why it changed or anything about it. I’m simply going to explain my opinion, whether you chose to read it as humour or stupidity is completely up to you. I will provide a link for those who are unsure of what I’m talking about, to get their new Sign and bitch and complain like the rest of the world did for an entire day on January 13, 2011.
Yesterday I found out that my Astrological Sign had changed from Pisces, to an Aquarius. I won’t lie; I was kind of thinking “Man, that sign sucks! Why couldn’t I have been a Leo or something cool” What the hell is an Aquarius? At least with Pisces I knew it was a fish, two of them actually. I cannot tell you how close I was to getting my first tattoo done as my zodiac sign, I researched different designs, colors, you name it I looked at it. In a way I’m entirely glad that it was a passing phase, but I feel for those who have their Zodiac Signs tattoo’d to them. Who knew that in ‘X’ number of years time it’d all change? Not me, certainly not anyone else.
The thing that gets me is for ages I’d recieved daily updates to my email about how my day was expected to go, and I took it about as seriously as I do to a fortune from a fortune cookie; not seriously at all. I’d normally read my horoscope at the end of the day, just to see if I was on the path of the stars, or whatever the technical term for being brain washed by some company printing these stupid things. Periodically yes, they would be similar, or completely off; it was about as successful at predicting my day as a magic 8-ball answering my question: “Will I win a million dollars by the time i’m 25?!” The 8-ball would politely tell me to get a life for a bit and told me to “Ask again later.” Later in my mind was 5 minutes, so if I was lucky the damn thing would give me a different answer to my question. I’d ask again, and the ball would read “No.” Not the answer I was looking for Mr. 8 Ball, so I’ll shake your stupid insides until it reads “Yes,” then I can tell Mum and Dad that getting an education is pointless because I’ll win the lotto before I’m 25 years old and live a lavish lifestyle for the rest of my life because of a manipulated ball. Now, are you wondering why I went off on a little rant about the 8- ball? If so, the reason is because although our horoscope tells us how our day will be, we are entirely capable of manipulating it. A horoscope may tell you a long lost friend will find you today, and confess their feelings for you; if they’re long and lost, whats the real likelihood they’re going to find me? Horoscopes are about as fun as an 8 ball. To be taken seriously? Not really.
That being said all these years I’ve been reading my sexstrology for the wrong Sign! No wonder I didn’t like tying my partner up and whipping them, I was an Aquarius all a long, they’re the ones who like to have boring sex, and starfish. Why was I chasing after Gene Simmons, when all along my sign was telling me to go after Brad Pitt. Friends of mine would say “How dreamy is Zac Efron, or Justin Bieber?!” My response would be, “hang on guys, let me see If my horoscope says its okay to go after their signs and say that we’re compatible, then I’ll say yes, if not, they’re ugly, and I’ll begin to dislike Vanessa Hudgens and that Kardashian seen hanging out with Biebs. Okay, in all fairness I’ve never read a sex horoscope and nor would I believe it. I honestly think its laughable that people believe their horoscopes, but don’t worry to those scared of change, we’re all supposed to die in 2012, so from now until then, you can be whatever you want to be, there won’t be any survivors to argue against you.
A zodiac sign doesn’t change who you are, its a made up behavioural “team” that we’re all on, sometimes we get along with others, sometimes we don’t. I would also like to let any one know who’s a huge Zodiac buff, to piss off about correcting me on my signs and how sexual or whether or not Zac Efron and I are destined to be together. I made it up, uneducated, and formulated for a blog post for the readers to enjoy.
Questions for the blog, Why do we feel attached to a Zodiac sign? Whats the point in representing a certain sign? Are some signs better than others? Kind of like an elitist classification that all the rich posh people are Saggitarius, and the peasants are Pisces? Lemme know, I’m curious!!
Link to what I’m referring to.