So a girlfriend of mine asked me to write about my thoughts and feelings about her relationship situation. I didn’t feel it was fair to write my opinion on it until I knew the final outcome, I’d hate to come across as the unsupportive friend in an entry she specifically
asked me to write.
To give a quick run down on the background of it she’s been in a long-term relationship with a guy who can’t commit 100% he is super attached to his family; which conveniently can’t stand her. My friend wants to move onto the next chapter of their life and settle down and start a family. But his family want nothing to do with her, let alone welcome her into their family.
With all that said, she wrote a letter to his family(since they won’t talk on the phone or meet with her face to face) asking for forgiveness, asking for them all to let the past be the past and if they would be willing to allow her and their son to begin the next chapter of their life together. Their response was that of typical small-minded folk who would hold a grudge against a cat for peeing in their flower garden; forgiving someone of a small mistake that was made years prior wasn’t happening. She gave her man an option to choose between her or his family.
I’m Switzerland again in this situation, although I lean toward the commitment side and feel as though that he needed to step up to the plate and make the onus to the girl he said he loved. Being placed in his shoes and being forced to decide between starting his own family or staying with his nest, may be an easy or difficult decision for some. For him it was difficult and he couldn’t leave his parents.
He’s 28 years old; so it’s not like he’s 18 and faced with an ultimatum. I believe we all come to a certain point in our lives where we either take the plunge or back out. But even after their previous commitment talks about marriage etc. I felt he’d go through the motions of sharing the conversations but not actually feel them. As an outsider looking in, its easy for my to formulate my own opinion and perception of the situation I could`ve been wrong.
By no means is this post meant to bash anyone or pick sides. I don`t know if giving an ultimatum was fair, as that`d be no decision I`d want to make, but alas I`m supportive of the outcome. I’m happy for her. I’m glad she got rid of someone who either can’t, or isn’t willing to commit and provide her with what she deserves. Not to make this sound like a relationship profile or a sales pitch, but she is an amazing young independent woman, who runs two business’ and doesn’t make excuses. She’s one of the strongest women I know, and deserves someone who can meet her in the middle emotionally, sexually, and intellectually; he couldn’t. As for him I wish him luck, I don’t doubt that the next girl he shares his life will be treated well. No matter how good the shoe looks, if it’s too big, it won’t fit. Much like this relationship, it wasn’t a perfect match, and there are just way too many shoes to try on to settle for something mediocre; pick something that makes you stand out. All eyes are on you.
Much love and all the support to my friend in this time.
Question of the blog is:
At what time or point in your life did you leave the nest?
If that question doesn’t apply to you, then how long do you hang onto a relationship in hopes the commitment is taken to the next level before drawing the line?