Dear Ronnie…

Dear Ronnie,

They always say the best is for last, in this case it’s not true at all, and that phrase was only invented so the last one would feel good about themselves. I originally liked you when you first came on the show, and thought you’d be a riot, and nice on the eyes (which you are). You started off by announcing “Don’t fall in love at the Jersey Shore” you quickly broke that rule and “fell in love” with Sam. (I can’t imagine why, you could do so much better) for a brief moment I was hopeful. Season two came along and you get ridiculously messy and creepy. It’s probably a good thing you had Sam in the first season to baby sit you, because you sure as hell need it.

I thought it was hilarious that you wanted your parents to meet Sam, that’s not exactly any prize to be bringing home to Mum and Dad, but I suppose looks aren’t everything…But she is entirely incapable of carrying on a conversation. The sex must good, because I can’t imagine anything else keeping you around. In the first season apart from a couple fights Sam helped you get in, or the constant arguing between one another, you really didn’t stand out. You missed out on the fun you could have had on the house boat with everyone else. Same had your balls in her purse, and you had her right in your lap (where lap dogs usually sit). In the two short months you confined yourself to one person and missed out on a lot of opportunities – you’re on your summer holidays, have fun and “smoosh” a few people and if you and Sam get along at the end, maybe then try for a relationship.

Hopefully in this next season you get your act together. I don’t think I can handle you getting outrageously drunk and hooking up with 4 women in one night, then heading off back to Sam. Have fun and enjoy your time, but disconnect yourself from Sam, you can have your cake and eat it too.

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