Dear Vinny

Dear Vinny,

What’s up? Guys like it when a girl takes the reins and approaches them, right? Think of my “what’s up” like that too. To be honest, I don’t know whether to shake your hand, hug you, or pounce you. You’re the youngest one in the house, trust me, you didn’t have to come out and say that at all, we knew as soon as you said “my mom does everything for me.” I think my mum did everything for me too, until I was 12 and learned something called “responsibility” (its a big word, I’ll give you a minute to sound it out). As a female I see your inability to fend for yourself as a huge turn off. Think about it, if we got married we would need your mum move in with us; I don’t want to do your laundry or cook your meals. You wanted a diva right? Good thing your house mates cook and their mums come to clean because I haven’t seen you contribute at all.

Really, at all. You flew so far under the radar in season one that I almost forgot you were on the show. I laughed when season two started and you were rocking a huge shoulder tattoo; was that for your “coming of age?” Don’t think I wouldn’t notice that huge eyesore, I checked you out enough at the Shore house, I noticed.

You’re a low key guy, that was noticed from the get go, you shave your head, that requires NO effort after a shower (it’d be weird waking up at a girls house and explaining to her why your mom was there; I get it). BUT some effort must be put into your perfectly sculpted eyebrows, Whether you’re willing to admit it or not.

Everything aside I do give you some accolades, the Fist pump is totally sweet, and I’m pretty sure that club goers all over have been doing this for years, without a name. But you’ve branded it and so its kinda yours, unfortunately whenever I see someone at the club do this I categorize them as some “Jersey shore, douchebag wannabe.” See what you’ve done? The “fist pump” has been ruined, no one took notice before you came along, and now they stick out. Thanks (from them, not me, because I’d judge them anyway on their lack of dance moves with or without “the pump.”) I like you Vinny, simply due to the fact we as viewers don’t ever know what you’re up to. So my challenge for you, is let’s see a MAJOR hook up or blow up this Second Season. Make Mama proud! (I’m Mama by the way, I’ll let you call me that)

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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