Dear “The Situation”
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You do indeed have an insane body. I had to sentence frag that because it begins and ends there. Lucky for you, you have some killer abs and nice arms, distracts people from looking at your face. You’re right though, looks arnt everything and you’ve certainly proved that theory of yours correct.
There are a couple things I like about you, the first being; you are apparently capable of cooking (although no one ever compliments you for your hard work). But really, baking potatoes and sausage can’t truely be that difficult. Maybe in season 2 we’ll see something prepared by you, (other than your chicken that Snickers ruined). Number two, you seem pretty loyal to your Roomies. I find you to be the one in the background more often, but still adding your “two cents” to an argument that can often times enrage a person further. Other than, looking to create more drama at times, you appear to offer advice and support to others. (If you’re looking for an example, think back to Ronnie and Sammi episodes and what “great” advice you offered)
After watching your interactions with women in the first season and continually “striking out,” I’ll ask: Is this a common occurrence for you? I mean, you seem so unphased when they randomly get up and walk away. I, as a viewer am only left to assume that you’ve taken too long, they’ve sobered up, and people actually become uglier after 2 am (Rip off of your new painting in the Miami house; my own variation).
This season I’d like you to: keep your shirt off 20/7 (but put a mask on or something) and cook a better meal. Oh, and quit picking up bottom feeders at the club, Pauly has taken enough “grenades” and “landmines” for you mister!