Dear Snooki….

 These next few Entries are going to be letters or things I’d love to ask, say to a Jersey shore cast member, and not endure a fist to my face.

First letter goes to our little party girl, Snooki

Dear Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi,

 

I’m not going to be too hard on you, I actually find you hilarious on screen. With that said, I’ve got to ask, what came over you in the first season, getting wasted on your first night at the Jersey Shore?  Actually, never mind, having to deal with some of your Roommates would force me to drink too.

You get a lot of comments regarding your “pouf” it’s pretty cute, and you rock it just fine. Would I do my hair like that? No. Do you care what I do with my hair? Certainly not. I think it’s pretty neat that you’re in the works to get your own hair products out there, and wish you all the best. One word of advice, invest a bit of money into good products, not the shitty Wal-Mart “Mary Kate and Ashley” bullshit – they’re richer than you and couldn’t come out with anything decent.

Although I find some of your attention seeking acts to be a sad cry for help, I cannot help but over look it and laugh. I’m curious though, why do you feel its necessary to “act out” as some sort of rebelling, not to get back at anyone specifically, but more on a level of “fuck the world” that we as viewers are left to witness and endure the pain of.

I liked you in season one you seemed to be less dramatic, easier going, Whiney, and fun. I can’t help but notice you’ve changed personalities and bark down others throats much more than you did in the first season. Perhaps the alcohol masked your true self, and you’ve sobered up since then. (Or maybe not, considering you were just recently arrested)

Waaaaahhhhh

I don’t think that “J-Woww” is the best person to be associating yourself, her pit-bull like mentality of going for the jugular of her next victim is beginning to rub off of on you. You aren’t a pit-bull, you’re a yappy little Chihuahua who seems to pack no bite to your bark, although it’s early to tell, you may be able to throw a punch, rather than take one.

 

Oh, hey, and if you could, hook up with DJ Pauly D, get married and have kids, `cause I’m pretty sure they’d have insane hair, leathered skin and an ego bigger than your waistline, upon birth.

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